What If the Most Important Thing We Prepare Is Our Attention?
In a few days, I'll begin walking the Camino Portugués.
Like most travelers, I've made the practical preparations. Flights are booked. Hotels are reserved. Walking shoes have been tested. I've spent months building up my mileage and strength so my body is ready for the journey.
But what has surprised me most is how much of my preparation has had nothing to do with logistics. Instead of spending hours researching every place I might visit or every meal I might eat, I've found myself reading, journaling, and reflecting on how to be more present as I walk.
The older I get, the more I find myself drawn inward. Not in a way that makes me want to retreat from life, but in a way that makes me want to experience it more fully.
When I was younger, travel was often about seeing, doing, accomplishing, and experiencing as much as possible. There was excitement in the destinations, the activities, and the stories I would bring home.
While I still love those things, something has shifted. These days, I'm increasingly interested in the questions beneath the experience.
What am I learning?
What deserves my attention?
How do I want to show up?
What kind of life am I actually creating?
Moving Through Life vs. Participating in It
As I've reflected on these questions, I've come to realize there is a difference between moving through life and participating in it.
Many of us are incredibly busy. We manage careers, families, responsibilities, communities, health goals, and endless to-do lists. We spend our days doing, planning, organizing, solving problems, and moving on to the next thing.
Sometimes it feels as though we're trying to keep all the plates spinning. Yet somewhere along the way, it can become easy to move through our lives without fully experiencing them.
We rush through conversations while thinking about what's next. We eat meals while answering emails. We take vacations while worrying about what awaits us when we return. We complete one goal only to immediately focus on the next. And before we know it, weeks, months, and years have passed.
Lately, I've found myself asking a different question:
How well am I participating in my own life?
Not how productive I am, how much I've accomplished, how many places I've been, or how much I know.
But how present I am for the life I'm actually living.
When I step back and look at the moments that have mattered most, they weren't necessarily the biggest achievements or the most impressive experiences.
They were the moments when I was fully there for them.
Maybe that's part of what midlife offers us, a chance to stop asking how much more we can accomplish and start asking how deeply we're experiencing the life we've already created.
Well-Being Is More About Participation Than Optimization
Because, let's be honest, well-being is more about participation than optimization.
It's about:
Being present for the journey itself.
Being fully engaged in a conversation instead of thinking about what you need to do next.
Lingering over a meal with family or friends rather than rushing through it.
Noticing the beauty of a morning walk instead of using it solely to close a ring on your watch.
Being curious during a new experience rather than being focused on capturing the perfect photo.
Slowing yourself to savor a season of life rather than constantly striving toward the next one.
Showing up for the people, places, and moments in front of you instead of always looking ahead to what's next.
The irony is that many of us know a great deal about well-being. We know what we should eat. We know we should move our bodies, get enough sleep, manage stress, and nurture relationships. Yet knowing and living are not the same thing.
Preparing Attention, Not Just an Itinerary
After 30 years working in nutrition, well-being, and behavior change, one thing I've learned is that meaningful change rarely begins with a plan. It begins with awareness. It begins with paying attention.
Before we can decide what we want to change, we first have to notice what is already there.
Perhaps that's why preparing for this Camino has felt different. It's been less about preparing an itinerary and more about preparing my attention.
Of course, I want to see beautiful places and meet interesting people. I hope to learn something along the way. But what feels most important right now is not what I will see. It's how I will see it.
The quality of an experience is shaped not only by where we go, but by how we arrive.
And that feels true far beyond travel. It feels true for:
Relationships.
Work.
Meals shared with family.
Walks around the neighborhood.
Ordinary Tuesday afternoons.
This season of life.
Many of us spend a great deal of time preparing for events, milestones, vacations, and goals. But how often do we prepare our attention? How often do we pause and ask ourselves how we want to experience what lies ahead?
Maybe intentional living isn't about adding more to our lives. Maybe it's about bringing more of ourselves to the lives we're already living.
As I prepare to take my first steps on the Camino, that's the practice I'm carrying with me. To slow down, pay attention, remain curious, leave room for surprise, wonder, and connection, and to participate fully in the experience rather than simply move through it.
And perhaps that's a practice worth carrying into every journey, whether it's across a country or simply through another ordinary day.
Questions for Reflection
Whether you're preparing for a trip, a new season, or simply the week ahead, you might reflect on:
What deserves more of my attention right now?
Where in my life am I rushing instead of experiencing?
What am I hoping to learn in this season of life?
What would it look like to participate more fully in my everyday experiences?
What am I carrying that I may be ready to set down?
How do I want to show up for the people and experiences that matter most?
What am I so busy pursuing that I might be missing something along the way?
If I slowed down enough to notice, what might I discover?
The older I get, the more I suspect that a meaningful life is built not from extraordinary moments alone, but from the attention we bring to ordinary ones.
Support
If this reflection sparked something for you, consider joining my email newsletter. Each week, I share ideas, questions, and practical insights designed to help us live with greater intention, well-being, and presence in the lives we're already living.